Cabin Fever (2016)

Okay, I have something I must admit: I definitely knew what I was getting into when I pulled this gem out of a Redbox only a short few days ago. Months back, when I had first caught wind that there would be a Cabin Fever reboot, I wasn't the happiest camper. I mean, come on, it's barely a decade old, and someone on this green earth had the audacity to watch the original and say, “Hey, I think this could be done better”. Had that been my only qualm, I'd put my differences aside and allow the director to be creative with whatever they had envisioned. Unfortunately, in this case, there wasn't very much creative thinking that went into this simplistic rehash.

From the get go, we are introduced to our group of actors, which consists of Paul (Samuel Davis), Karen (Gage Golightly), Jeff (Matthew Daddario), Marcy (Nadine Crocker) and Bert (an overly obnoxious Dustin Ingram). None of these performances captivated me enough to actually care about the characters, or any harm they may endure. Some of our characters deliver lines with little to no emotion, while others go drastically over the edge, appearing much too frantic to be taken seriously (Just wait until you hear Paul shout “What the fuck is going on!?”). This is just one of many things that took me out of the viewing experience. Let's be honest, though: I was being very giving by watching this film to begin with.

We aren't given much with this reboot, however, here's what we get: basically the same script from the first film (chopped down about 30 or so pages), acting and writing (“There's some shit in that woods”) that leaves a lingering sting, and just about nothing new, which makes this the most run of the mill horror remake to date (taking the warm spot of A Nightmare on Elm Street). Paul and Karen's romance is nearly beat for beat, whereas the behavior of a character such as Bert is completely overdone, to the point where you actually want him to die. I didn't dislike Bert in the original, I accepted the kind of character he was and ran with it. However, this film (apparently) felt it was necessary to make the audience completely despise him, leaving me hoping the flesh eating virus would decimate him before I did, myself.

Certain characters have been swapped out, and this is most noticeable when we discover that Deputy Winston (Louise Linton) is a female this time around. Director Travis Zariwny himself admits that there was no way to emulate Giuseppe Andrews' portrayal of Winston. I assumed that since he acknowledged that, it meant he understood what worked and what didn’t in the original film. Does he really understand, though? I want to believe that, but every other part of this film sways me to believe that he truly doesn't. Sure, there is just as much blood and gore, if not more, but is that what remaking a movie is all about to him? On top of that, the score attempts to make this entry come off more seriously than previous ones in the franchise, ultimately stripping it of the entertaining and quirky time that Eli Roth created, years back.

At some point in its 99 minute runtime, you're going to come to a point when you ask yourself if this revamp was even necessary, even when you already know the answer. It's hard to believe that anyone involved in this film actually cared, for I feel it just doesn't show upon viewing. Granted, it's not word for word or shot for shot. There are a couple of differences, but seriously not enough to make this worth watching. Other friends and critics have tried to steer me clear of this one, but I couldn't judge a film until I've seen in. Now that I have, I can bury it six feet deep where it belongs, and pray it never sees the light of day to Horror fans alike.